Before you call me a hypocrite, I am no expert (see my last blog post), however, if there was one subject I feel like I was nearly an expert on -- like I was sort of expert"ish." It would be in the area of identifying manipulative people... more specifically - if your romantic partner is a manipulator.
Here are some behavioral characteristics of manipulative people that might give you pause.
3.) Emotionally Abusive
The person you fell in love with? That's not really them. That person was a product of their imagination used to lure you in. Oh sure they can go back to that "person" when they need something from you or when it serves their interests, but the sweet, loving, kind, caring person was just a clever ruse. Now you're at their mercy. They will make you feel awful most of the time because they feel awful. You will have a front seat ride on their roller coaster. Getting off the ride can feel impossible -- they have you trapped -- and they know it.
Still not sure if your lovebug is a manipulator, or maybe you need help escaping from your manipulator -- i'm still no expert - but I do know I can help.
As some of you know one of my pet peeves is seeing and hearing generic, repetitive speech. This stuff catches on and becomes so mindless in the way it is used. Frankly it's obnoxious -- and serves to devalue our communication with one another.
Some recent examples:
G.O.A.T. -- Greatest Of All Time, often in a sports context ... "Tom Brady is the G.O.A.T. -- he has five rings and he's been to seven super bowls, no question he's now the G.O.A.T."
Epic -- used to describe anything and everything good... Me: "What did you guys do for lunch?" Friend: oh, we went to subway" Me: I haven't been there in awhile, how was it?" Friend: "great, i got the toasted turkey club -- it was so epic."
Crisis -- in a social or economic sense, anything that is not as we would hope ... "As Ebola fears spread, international travelers are in full on crisis mode wondering if their time is next."
Expert -- frequent characterization of someone by the media to substantiate some point or another -- as if the mere description of someone as an expert offers proof of, or validation for -- something. (I believe this is a logical fallacy of some type but we will save that for another time. ) ... "now let's bring in Bruce Jeffrey, he's an expert on using humour as a means to capture an audience when writing a blog post ..."
From time to time i'm sure I'm guilty of using generic words and phrases too -- it happens. But for me, the best communication happens when i'm being original and creative. It brings meaning and creates a connection with someone else.